This blog could have been written ten days ago. But it wasn’t.
Over the last month or so, I found myself increasingly tired. Tourist season has begun, which means we in the hospitality industry are busy. (And sometimes tourists have ridiculous questions / standards). My community here in Asheville has been working through life. And although I do have the occasional Sunday off, my church and faith life struggle.
So, yeah, I get worn out.
But on a Sunday that I did go to church, the pastor spoke on Mark 8 – the feeding of the four thousand.
Cool, I think. A story that I’ve heard hundreds of time. People follow Jesus, but have no food. The disciples react in their typical manner and Jesus miraculously provides. Done.
As the sermon went on, the pastor focused on something I hadn’t given much attention to before.
And his disciples answered him, “How can one feed these people with bread here in this desolate place?” And he asked them, “How many loaves do you have?” They said, “Seven.” – Mark 8:4-5
Jesus doesn’t admonish the disciples for their attitudes – although He could, considering a few chapters back Jesus fed five thousand…. But Jesus simply asks them, What do you have? He wants these brothers to bring whatever they have, whatever they can find and bring it to Him. That is what Jesus will use.
Maybe what else I write is obvious to some, but I needed the reminder. Maybe somebody else does, too.
It is very easy for me to believe that I don’t have much to offer. More often than not I find myself wondering what I’m doing with my life. There seems to be no real direction, no passion or hobby(s) that I actively pursue. My anxiety and my guilt steal much of my energy on a given day.
The pastor spoke to me that morning. “Some of you may feel like all you have to bring is the broken mess of sin and confusion. Jesus sees that, sees You and welcomes it. He doesn’t ask for a person put together. Jesus asks for you to bring what you have, and trust in His love and truths.”
It seems so simple, yet profound for me. Even again today as I type.
I don’t have much to give right now. My blog may never be a consistent thing. There still isn’t a passion or hobby or issue grabbing my attention or heart. There is plenty of room for growth in my community, and even more in me.
But maybe, just maybe I can cling to these words, bring what I have today and trust.